Refined Purveyors of Fine Goods

Why Gathering at the Table is important and transformative!

The table is a place of connection.

Why gather around the tabletop for a meal??  

A few years ago my daughter came to me and said: “mom, my friends don’t sit down and eat dinner together with their families!” She seemed relatively shocked and frankly so was I. Having an upbringing of a different nature it was only normal to sit down to a “set table” and eat dinner and if by chance someone wasn’t home yet we would wait until they arrived. Today I realize that a lot of what was a tradition and not necessarily quite as important as we may have thought, in reality, could be a great tragedy in the loss of community, connection and fellowship. The table is a very intentional space created for a communal act of eating together. It’s a pretty interesting development in human history if you take the time to research it out. 

The Greeks—Socrates and Plato and Aristotle—had a direct tie to the dining table.  That isn’t just because they were brilliant people; it’s because their ideas had a place to live in the form of something called symposiums.  A symposium is a gathering or a meeting of different ideas and thoughts on a particular subject and the dining table was a place to allow their discussions to have life.  

 In ancient Biblical times, the table was again a central focus for Passover, communion, and banquets. Even Jesus himself when wanting to explain something to his followers would serve them a meal. In Matthew’s account of the Last Supper, he symbolically writes, “While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, ‘Take and eat”  (Matt. 26:26)

As a child, I remember being fascinated and intrigued as the “grown-ups” set around the table discussing current events, politics, and other topics of interest. I realize today how much of a role this played in forming who I am… both good and bad ;). 

Food is my love language and when I can serve out a meal to those who make up Humanity I feel a sense of purpose and intention.  Like maybe the things in this crazy world can be transformed into something better when we gather and communicate our hearts. Our family today has grown up and for the most part are going in different directions but we still if at all possible on the average weekday gather around the kitchen bar, at the dining table, on the patio and as of recent in front of the fireplace hearth. It may only be a 10-minute occasion as usually someone has to leave in a hurry but at least we are looking each other in the eye and conveying ideas, updates, and general goodwill. 

As we enter the next couple of months of holiday’s we would like to challenge you to circle up during wine, dessert, brunch, coffee, and any reason you can find. Share stories, make plans, and just generally enjoy the company of others. The table can be set with plastic or china with the meal a five-course or a bowl of soup..the point is to just make it meaningful and sorta special with thoughts directed toward those you are extending hospitality to. We like to plan out our music, our tablescape, and our location to fit the guests.  

The meal serves the purpose of being a kind of magnet. It’s a necessity to eat dinner taking advantage of the fact that people are drawn towards food and the table, and then deepening that experience into something transformative.

The table pictured is our Thanksgiving Setting. We used ALL vintage or antique pieces to set this table. Every piece is available at Refined. All items are not uploaded on our website but we will work to do so this upcoming week. Enjoy!

We at Refined offer many tabletop items. From vintage to mod. Come in and shop!


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